Consequences are those actions that must be taken in order to continue your consistency of your rules and boundaries. Wait, you don’t have rules and boundaries? Perhaps we must begin there.
Rules and boundaries are essential in every part of our life and it certainly should begin at home. Now, don’t misunderstand I’m not talking about the extreme measures used long ago. Remember or perhaps you are unaware that I came from a household of extreme discipline. In my opinion, and my opinion alone, this is not entirely necessary.
Sure some children will not respond to anything other than a big stick, but if rules are set early on, they will understand that they exist and consequences will follow. As far as consequences, they are extremely essential. If you child misbehaves, you should communicate why the action is unacceptable and continue with a consequence. This is merely part of the learning process.
I like to compare this process to that of a puppy. When, not if he soils on the floor, he is taught immediately where he must perform his business. It is definitely a learning process for the dog and one that is learned rather quickly because of the consequences that follow.
When instilling rules and boundaries in your home, consequences can consist of removing an activity or item that is precious to your child. At time this works but other times, more severe consequences are necessary. However, if the severe are necessary is it important to be calm before following through with such consequences. Which of course leads to the other C which stands for consistency. Your child will learn the rules and boundaries if you are consistent with your follow through.
This is a practice that is learned first in the home and continues on forever. When your child attends school, there are rules that must be followed, and those rules continue well into adulthood. Consequences do not necessarily have to be physical in nature but are indeed necessary in the upbringing of our children.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I completely agree! It’s been proven over and over that children feel safer, and are happier, when there are boundaries in place. They know what to expect from the world. When these are absent, children attempt to assert their own control over their environment, something they are not mature enough to do. What results is an out of control child who is extremely unhappy. More parents need to learn that this is an ESSENTIAL part of parenting, and one of the best gifts that you can give a child.
Thanks Jennifer for visiting my site and for responding! I only wish there were more parents that believed the same…perhaps our children would be much happier:)