Not quite a baby, not quite all grown up. It all comes down to a mother’s intuition at this in-between age. I want to push and encourage dear Lizzie to do so much, but she reminds me almost everyday that she isn’t quite grown up yet. She will cuddle with me on the couch and say, “Izzie be baby now?” She doesn’t want to grow all the way up, she always wants to know that she can snuggle in my arms and be safe from the harshness of monsters and chores. Well, chores she can’t escape but I will shoo away any monster that dares intimidate her.
Then, when she has the desire to accomplish something on her own, she will proudly proclaim, “I grew up now! I am bigger – like Mycah!” Mycah is her 4 year old cousin. I can tell that she will be following in lots of Mycah’s footsteps in the years to come.
The real challenge is balancing this burgeoning independence. How do you continue to push and encourage self sufficiency in a preschooler while also keeping them safe, close and reassured? I don’t want to over protect her but I also don’t want to make her world sans mommy and her loving arms.
As I said earlier, this is where the intuition comes in. I know my daughter and her fears, abilities and strengths. I can pretty well tell if she just needs a push or if she needs an embrace. My daughter has more fear than other kids her age. She won’t jump off the couch or climb out of her crib by herself. I have to teach her that my hands are close by but she can do it by herself. Her beautiful, gentle spirit needs to be encouraged to spark a flame of action.
Is this the same struggle parents have of teens, pre-teens and young adults? I am sure the question of how much to let go and how tightly to hold on is a very real challenge no matter the age of the child. I am looking forward to continuing in my quest for the proper balance. I only pray that I can continue to be so in-tuned to Lizzie that I can tell when I am holding her too close. Thankfully, I also have a husband who can tell me when I am doing so.
Above all, I want her to feel secure enough and free of fear so she can face the uncertainty of her future with confidence and strength. I hope her baby giggles turn into grown up laughter as she optimistically sets -and accomplishes – her goals! If I can be a part of the molding of her will then I will do all I can, but I think it is in what I don’t do that matters most.
Written by:
Annie Shultz of MamaDweeb.Com
Annie is a stay at home mom to Lizzie (2yrs) and Bubs (9 months). She lives on 20 acres in KS with her dog, cat and 3 goats. She blogs about all that is dear to her – family, her faith and all that she is learning as she lives her life one silly moment at a time!
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Great article! A wonderful and easy to relate to article!